Very much so tired

So the past couple of days I have had no engery or anything. All I want to do is slepp sleep sleep.. One of two reason I am dehyrated or I am not getting any sleep because of my mattress. Oh and I am holding water again in my body mainly my hands and stomach. I wake up every morning with my lower back hurting bad. I go out to the couch and fall asleep and my back does not hurt as bad anymore but the tiredness is still there. GRRRRR. I am finally having a cup of coffee right now with the cup my BFF and her family got me for Christmas. I know its not coffee. I think after this cup I will go and have some lemon water or some orange water. Then I will get some bottled smart water tomorrow and gatorade (yes I know its not paleo) but between the water and gatorade I think by Sunday or Monday I will be fully hydrated and I can start working out at the gym. I might also have to go on my PCOS medicine again as well as my BP and Vitamins. I need to quit doing this to my body. I don't think that it helps any either because my periods have been off for the past 2 months and that is when I think I started getting tired and it has just gotten worse. Once I get some of this weight off of me I will have energy and won't be tired all the time. I have my good days and then I have bad days and so far this week has been bad. Well that is all for now I am going to finish drinking my coffee and then start in on some water. Oh yeah my new year has been good so far. I know for sure that sugar and candy is too sweet for me and that my espresso it takes me forever to drink them now. I have almost cut out all sugar in my diet. I do like a teaspoon of sugar in my house coffee but that is even getting to be to sweet and I can't drink the coffee. When I put just heavy whipped cream into my coffee I can drink it without a problem. Now to start cutting other things out of my diet and to start the excerise. Thank you for listening to me until next time take care of your body because its the only one you get.

2013 WEIGHT LOSS DAY BY DAY

So a friend of mine told me to do a dairy of my day. I think I am going to blog it instead of recording myself while finally doing this weight loss life. I can not look at myself without being embarrassed about the way I look. I am going to try and do one every night after my daughter and son go to bed so I can think and type about how the day went and whether I ate and what I ate. I honestly think this will help me. Tomorrow my husband (Kevin) and I go to the gym and I get a new card and he finally will get a card. Then we should start working out together when he can because of work.. I have been putting it off a lot lately and I can not do that anymore. I will take measurements and my weight tomorrow, oh and take a before picture. I haven't decided if I want to do this once a month or every other month or even every 6 months. I honestly don't know yet. But what I can tell you is that I am finally ready in my head to lose the weight and get back into the gym. Why? because I finally showed myself that I can live without the sugar and the espressos and all the junk food. Now I just need to show my body that we can do the gym and to get out of my comfort zone. I keep thinking that when I met my husband 12 years ago that I was able to fit into his size 32 pants. I also know I can do this because when I went into Job Corp I was heavy and I lost the weight because of the walking I did as well as my guy friends took me into the gym and showed me what I needed to do and I lost a lot of weight within 6 months. I remember that part because everyone thought I was doing drugs. I had toned up the weight and dropped the weight so fast. No I was not starving myself my guy friends made sure of it as well as Job Corp made sure of it. I can do this I will not be afraid of the sexy skinny woman in me anymore. She wants to come out and I just keep pushing her down because of being afraid. Well That is all for now just know everyone that I am ready for the new me again even if it does take me another year or 2. I AM TIRED OF BEING FAT AND OBESE!!!!!!! I AM TIRED OF NOT BEING HEALTHY!!!! I AM TIRED OF NOT HAVING ANY ENERGY TO DO STUFF WITH MY DAUGHTER!!!!! I AM READY TO GIVE THE HARD-WORK AND THE DEDICATION!!!!!!! HERE WE GO 2013 I HOPE YOU ARE READY BECAUSE I AM TAKING YOU BY THE HORNS BECAUSE THIS WILL BE MY YEAR!!!!!